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It’s Ok to Say No

Desmond Bell DPM explains why caregivers lack hesitation when it comes to agreeing to take on more and become spread even thinner.

If you have made it this far in your career, you are hardly a slacker.

Whether you are a type A, B+ (what I consider myself) or haven’t given it much thought, you are undoubtedly a self-starter.  You don’t need constant supervision or motivation to get through your day, let alone life.  As the saying goes, “if you want something done, look for the busiest person in the room”. Sound like you? If not you, maybe someone you know.

The achievers and over-achievers among physicians are easily identified by their lab jackets, scrubs, and disdain for EMRs, among others. Many of us naturally take on more responsibilities because it is part of our nature. Think in terms of putting patients’ needs ahead of our own. Participation in hospital committees, volunteer organizations, community events, etc., and little time for yourself as a result.

 

Many of us naturally take on more responsibilities because it is part of our nature. Think in terms of putting patients' needs ahead of our own. Click To Tweet

 

It seems to happen so simply, maybe an invitation to publish an article, present at a conference, serve on a Board of an organization whose mission is personally important. In the blink of an eye, your most valuable commodity, that being your time, has been given away without consideration of the possible long-term effects.

If any of this sounds familiar, ask yourself some basic but important questions. How did I get here? Why am I doing this? Is this worth the effort?

You are a giver. It is in your DNA. No matter the situation, you possess empathy and share your gifts without hesitation. Hence the lack of hesitation when it comes to agreeing to take on more and becoming spread even thinner.

 

Physician, you are a giver. It is in your DNA. No matter the situation, you possess empathy and share your gifts without hesitation. Click To Tweet

 

Remember this simple bit of advice. It’s OK to say no. Sometimes you need to take a step back, reassess the situation and regain some perspective. Feeling overwhelmed because of everything already on your plate, when another invitation to share your skill set comes along? Decline. Politely and without need for in depth explanation. It’s OK. People will not think less of you (and if they do, it’s their issue, not yours). Do you believe that if you don’t accept every invitation to publish, present or serve that you won’t be considered for such future roles? Think again!

By saying no, you will become more appreciated, desirable, and respected.  More than likely, you will become more sought after.  When you do accept such invitations, do so on your terms. Your time is valuable. You need time for you.

This applies beyond your career and is equally important when applied to your personal life (even though the line between personal and professional lives is often blurred). You can’t be all things to all people. Stay in your comfort zone, your lane, and try to be comfortable with yourself.

This may seem like a pretty radical approach, but the practice of saying no does not have to applied all at once or to every situation! Wait for the situation when you are feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed to any degree. You will know it when it happens. When you sense the windup, and the pitch is on its way, pause, relax, breathe.   A simple “I’m sorry, but I must decline” or a “Thank you for the invitation, but the timing isn’t good” conveys appreciation and sincerity, while leaving the door open for future opportunities.  Regardless of how you phrase it, saying no can be an effective method to regain control of aspects of your life that may no longer be bringing you satisfaction or fulfilment. Life goes on regardless, so be selective in your commitments, and if it doesn’t feel right, it’s ok to say no!

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