The following is part of a continuing commentary on the cold, hard truth of physician interactive online circles.

I’m part of a few online communities meant to uplift and support physicians – especially women in leadership. You know the kind: smart people, great intentions, a place to grow, connect, and collaborate.

At least, that’s what I thought.

So imagine this: someone in one of these groups posts a question.. they’re looking for a physician speaker for their upcoming event. Perfect. I’ve spent years building a curated speaker directory for exactly this purpose. It’s been a labor of love, a resource designed to spotlight professionals who are often overlooked.

Naturally, I drop a comment. Short, sweet, relevant. “Hey, I’ve actually built a physician speaker directory that might help. Happy to share.”

Poof. Gone. My comment disappears almost instantly.

Confused, I scroll through the thread again. Others are suggesting themselves. Others are linking resources. But mine? Mine got erased like a glitch in the Matrix.

I reached out to the admin. Politely. I’m a woman physician, a leader, just like the rest. I’ve built something useful, and this ask was practically tailor-made for it.

“You need to pay,” she replied.

I didn’t flinch. Fair is fair. I’m not against paying to support spaces that bring value. I asked about membership. It was in the hundreds – doable, I thought, especially if it meant connecting with aligned professionals who’d benefit from the directory.

But then she clarified: the membership fee wouldn’t actually allow me to post anything.

To share one post (one comment!) I’d have to cough up an additional $1,000.

That’s when it hit me. The real problem wasn’t payment. It was policing. The rules weren’t clear, and more importantly, they weren’t being applied equally. I wasn’t the only one sharing resources. But somehow, I was the only one getting scrubbed.

This isn’t a rant. It’s a snapshot. One experience of many over the years in a world where, ironically, we preach community and collaboration, but too often reward the loudest voices or most established cliques.

I believe in paying for value. I also believe in transparency, fairness, and the idea that if we say we’re here to support one another, we should actually mean it.

This is just one story. I’ve got more. And if you’ve ever tried to build something meaningful in this space, you probably do too.

Let’s be better. Let’s do better.