Growing up, I believed loyalty to your organization was the highest professional virtue.

My mother worked for the same large organization for her entire career. So did my father. I watched them show up, stay the course, and move through challenges without ever entertaining the idea of leaving. As a child, I saw this as stability, integrity – proof that loyalty was rewarded. So I carried that belief into my own career: If I stay loyal to the institution, the institution will take care of me.

But now, with adult eyes and lived experience, I realize I misunderstood the lesson.

What supported my parents for decades wasn’t the organization itself, it was the people within it. The community. The relationships. The mentors and peers who advocated for their growth, gave them opportunities, and buffered them through difficult transitions.

Organizations don’t “take care” of you. They make decisions based on outcomes, productivity, efficiency. It’s not personal. And it’s not meant to be. But people (good leaders, invested colleagues, supportive teams) can absolutely make work feel personal, safe, and purposeful. That’s where the loyalty belongs.

I had to unlearn the belief that staying in one place is always the most responsible, respectful, or stable choice. Because what I’ve learned is this: Loyalty and self-advocacy are not mutually exclusive. You can be loyal to your values, your mission, your patients (even your team) while also honoring your own growth, well-being, and aspirations.

Reassess Regularly

One of the best pieces of advice I now share with trainees and colleagues alike is this: Reassess your role every 3 to 5 years.
Not just the job title, but the whole ecosystem—your organization, your team, your leadership, and how it all aligns with your current needs and future goals.

Sometimes it’s not the job itself that’s draining you—it’s the environment. Or the pace. Or the lack of support. And sometimes, a small shift (a new mentor, a lateral move, a more flexible schedule) can make a hard situation feel more manageable, or make a good one feel even better.

This reassessment isn’t disloyal. It’s wise.

When you pause to evaluate where you are, you also open up space to ask:

• Is there something else that could better support me right now?
• Are there opportunities I’ve ignored because I assumed they weren’t for me?
• Is this version of my career still aligned with what I want for my life?

Sometimes we find that we’re in exactly the right place.
Other times, we realize we’ve outgrown it—and that’s okay.

Relationships > Reputation

Another lesson I had to unlearn is that alignment with an organization’s mission is enough to sustain you. It’s not.

Even if you believe deeply in the work your institution does—if you don’t have supportive leaders or a team that values your growth, it will eventually wear you down.
Mission without mentorship is not sustainable.
Purpose without people is isolating.

On the flip side, even when a system is imperfect or misaligned, having strong relationships – mentors who advocate for you, peers who understand you, supervisors who challenge and uplift you – can make the day-to-day feel meaningful.

That’s what I missed in my early understanding of my parents’ careers. My mother didn’t thrive for 30 years just because she stayed in one place. She thrived because people in that place looked out for her. They saw her potential, offered opportunities, and created safety through transition.

That’s what we should be loyal to: the people, not just the place.

The New Definition of Loyalty

Loyalty doesn’t mean staying stuck.
It means investing in relationships that are mutual, reciprocal, and growth-oriented.

It means contributing meaningfully to a system or a team while also watching for the signs that you need something more. It means being honest (with yourself and with those around you) about what you want next.

Loyalty might mean staying. But it might also mean growing, shifting, or leaving.
And the real lesson is this: You can do any of those things with integrity.