fbpx

How to Stop Being Hard on Yourself

Cindy Tsai, MD asks if you're a high-achiever who wants to stop being hard on yourself. If so, her advice is perfect for you.

Are you hard on yourself?

Research has shown that being hard on yourself leads to low self-esteem and higher stress levels.

 

Do you…

  • Constantly replay in your head what you should have said or didn’t say?
  • Have harsh and critical self-talk, thinking you’re not good enough?
  • Blame yourself for things not working out?
  • Give up on challenges quickly, fearing failure and mistakes?
  • Feel like everyone else is doing better?

 

As a high-achiever, you try your hardest and want the very best.

Which is why it’s so challenging when you don’t get the result you wanted.

 

As a high-achiever, you try your hardest and want the very best. Which is why it’s so challenging when you don’t get the result you wanted. Click To Tweet

 

We all have that “inner critic” but it’s important to learn how to work with it and turn the volume down so it doesn’t overwhelm or sabotage your efforts.

Recognize that this inner critic exists, originally as a protective mechanism.

The inner critic developed in childhood as we internalized messages and remarks we received from family/caregivers/teachers/etc thinking the adults knew best in terms of helping us survive and adapt to life.

However, it was often a reflection of their own negative biases and perspectives. While the inner critic can be helpful at times (e.g. motivation), it often does more harm than good when it’s not managed well.

 

So how do you start?

The first thing is to slow down and pay attention to what’s going on. Once you are present, remind yourself that you are NOT your thoughts.

One of my favorite ways is to do a “brain dump” and write out all the thoughts I’m having.

Notice the thoughts you’re having, the words you are speaking, the feelings you’re experiencing, the actions you are taking. You might think you have no control over this. It feels automatic because these are often longstanding habits that we have repeated over and over again. It has become ingrained in our subconscious mind/behavior.

The truth is…

 

Everything is optional.

It really is. You always get to choose. We just need to slow down and be intentional about what we’re thinking and doing.

As you learn to become an observer and create distance, you can assess and see what is and isn’t serving you.

Bring in curiosity to question and wonder why this is coming up for you. Are there ways to reframe this so you feel positive and inspired instead of negative and helpless? Did you know it’s possible to manage your mind so it doesn’t default to the negative? This is one of my favorite benefits about coaching!

How can you be gentle and kind to yourself in moments of difficulty? What would you say to a best friend? Learn to offer this compassion to yourself. This is a practice and gets easier the more you do it.

Commit to self-care and take time for yourself.

Know that we all need to recharge our batteries and when you are in a good place, you will feel better and have more to give to others.

Tweet this out

EARN CME

This learning experience is powered by CMEfy - a platform that brings relevant CMEs to busy clinicians, at the right place and right time. Using short learning nudges, clinicians can reflect and unlock AMA PRA Category 1 Credit.

Ad from SoMeDocs.

SoMeDocs Front Page Header

Don’t Settle for Boring Health Resources

Our Venture Amplifies Healthcare Resources.

Ad from SoMeDocs.

SoMeDocs Front Page Header

Marketing physician voices uniquely!

Our Venture Amplifies Healthcare Voices.

SoMeDocs

SoMeDocs, short for Doctors on Social Media, is a physician-created & led health media company that aims to build a beautiful catalogue of verified online healthcare voices. Our goals are to teach educated professionals tools for personal success, and to showcase them to the world, and facilitate the connections needed to grow. Join us.

The Late Night Texts

The Late Night Texts

Holly MacKenna, MD shares a story of how an unwelcomed text reminds a female of physician of past traumas and leads to an unexpected opportunity for post traumatic growth.

Negotiation series header: David Norris

Negotiate as a Physician and Win

Catch this 8-part series, hosted by physician & business consultant David Norris, MD, MBA & produced by Dana Corriel, MD. Learn to be a stronger negotiator with these important tactics.

Conversations with Shem: Season 2

Medical literature icon Samuel Shem, author of “The House of God” returns for season 2 of conversation, in order to discuss the broken healthcare system. This time, he’s brought the guests!

Doctors on Social Media Teach Podcasting Header Image

Doctors On Social Media Teach Podcasting

Today’s health experts are sharing their expertise in audio format using podcasts. Join us as we explore how we do this and bring on the innovators who are giving it their all.

Ban Al-Karaghouli, MD

Ban Al-Karaghouli, MD

Always do your best. My favorite Quote is “Shoot for the Moon. If you miss, you will land among the stars”.

somedocs logo without url

Stay in Touch

Be a part of the healthcare revolution. Don’t miss a thing SoMeDocs Does!

Disclaimer: SoMeDocs assumes no responsibility for the accuracy, claims, or content of the individual experts' profiles, contributions and courses. Details within posts cannot be verified. This site does not represent medical advice and you should always consult with your private physician before taking on anything you read online. See SoMeDocs' Terms of Use for more information.

Play Video
Our Founder Answers Your BURNING Question

SoMeDocs

“Why should I become a member of SoMeDocs if I already have my own space online?”