The following is the perfect formula for getting burnt out as a physician as quick as possible, once you get out of training:
1. Only pay attention to the initial amount of money the job is offering. Definitely don’t ask other attendings what the contracts look like after the guarantee period.
2. Make sure you sign a non-compete. This one is important, the larger the radius the better. You want to make sure that if the job works out that your choices are to starve or leave town.
3. Buy that big ol doctor house ASAP. You deserve it, buy the nicest house you can, and make sure that you fill it with the most expensive furniture.
4. Buy the nicest of everything. Because hey, why not? Cars, rugs, private schools for your kids etc. Spend spend spend.
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5. Make sure you take a job with the largest hospital system with the highest turnover or a large private equity backed group. They will “take care of you”…
6. Work yourself to oblivion. Come on, gotta get those RVUs. The more RVUS you get the better off your employer, oh I mean you will be.
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7. Definitely ignore your family and own mental health. Don’t worry, your family will understand how important gaming those RVUs are. Mental health, lol, you just need more pizza appreciation parties!
8. Don’t look for other ways to practice medicine outside of the system. Because there aren’t any other ways to do it? Right?
Please add any that I’m forgetting!